I hope you’re all doing well, but I thought I would pen down my thoughts regarding my study career, now that it has officially come to an end.
Growing up, I’ve always been the quintessential Asian kid. Fairly good grades, well-behaved. Sure, there were bouts of rebellion when I was 9 when my grades plummeted to a B (I still did ok, mind you, just not an A). At the primary school level, B was simply frowned upon. It equated to a poor performance in most households. At that time, a good secondary school was determined by the entry score needed to enter. The higher it was, the better. That means aiming for an A or A*. Canning and late nights supervision, kick started my journey to be self-independent in learning.
In secondary school, my day started at 6.3o am to get ready for school. School officially begun at 7.30 am and would last till 2 or 3 pm, with a 30 mins recess. This was in the lower years. In the upper years, classes ended around 4 pm (sometimes 5 pm). Recess was typically a mad-rush affair. If classes ate into recess by 10 to 15 mins, there was no point going for lunch cause you’ll only have time to walk to and fro from the canteen. This happened most of the time from mid to year end when teachers try to complete the syllabus. After classes, there would be CCA, thrice a week. Practices started immediately after class and ended around 6.3o pm. At night, was homework time. Holidays (about 3 weeks) were seen as more “free” time for CCA and a never-ending stack of homework to be completed.
Following O levels, was JC. JC was definitely the most enriching period in my life. I made the closest bunch of friends I have right now. I was at the fittest point in my life due to the mandatory (and intense) PE, lol. There were up and downs, but JC was memorable and heart-warming.
In uni, lectures took a 360 turn. It took some getting used to. Textbooks, journal articles and my laptop became very good buddies. From RICE to OCIP to 7DOH, they were all activities where precious memories were made. I’ve made some modular choices where I chose not to pursue my interest, in the attempt to raise my CAP. Not my proudest moment. Despite my interest in microbio, I realised I’m unable to pursue it as a long term career in the lab. I’ve doubted my initial attempt to pursue my honours year, as well as, my degree choice. I’ve experienced the shittiest point in my student life because a prof decides to bring in the political game to a module that holds 16 MCs, which literally decides my fate to graduate. I’ve never been so disgusted with myself – the hypocrite game. Late nights, early mornings, daily stress build-up, fear, tears and anger, my last year was an emotional uphill. It was a battle to survive, both mentally and physically. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as much relief in my life as compared to the submission of my FYP. Literally, one of the bleakest moment in my existence (not life, because there’s no life in your final year).
The end of my last paper marked the official end to my student career. No more exams, no more lectures…it’s a bitter-sweet feeling. I can’t help feeling lost. The next phase in life is to seek for a job, which is a head-dive into the unknown. But till the next post, bye.