I’m sorry I didn’t update (erm…at all…) the past five months? Not to worry, I’ve not given up on this blog. The reason I’ve not been updating was because I was going through some health issues that scared the living crap out of me. I’ve essentially push everything aside and try to go through the daily motions. It was … quite a traumatising yet somewhat enlightening experience.
Initially, I would have really morbid thoughts as I try to “prepare” myself for the worst case scenario. I might be slightly too pessimistic here but I’m really not. I still hope for the best case scenario but I’m simply not placing all my eggs in one basket. I was preparing myself (in my own weird way at least) for the worst possible outcome. I didn’t want to cope with a sudden mental breakdown if anything did happen (touch wood!!!!). I seriously felt like I was having some dual identity issue: “normal” by day, “morbid thoughts” by night. At this point, I probably should have gone to see a counsellor, but I didn’t.
So as usual, when I want to avoid/forget something, I tend to immerse myself in school to make myself busy. I know, I know, I was in denial but hey, my attempt work, somewhat at least. I’ve accepted that there’s nothing I can do during this period except to try to continue my life as per normal and to spend more time with my family. It didn’t happen overnight but I’ve sort of reconcile with my situation.
With this situation, I’ve also started living life much more healthily. Simple things I normally wouldn’t do, but this experience has really made me internalise and truly appreciate how important my health is. I mean I know (we all know) our health is very, very, very important and we do try to stay healthy. But do we really? We often take things for granted and only when we are so close to losing it that we truly appreciate its importance. It’s those little things that count.
So that kinda explains why I was MIA these past few months. I’m sorry and really grateful to those who check out this blog to see if I had updated during this period.